LIFE AFTER THIS BLOG POST

I feel like I really took advantage of this assignment and sent a very personal email to my future self about mostly college and family and other life situations. I really have no idea where I will be in a year, both I hope that when I read that email I remember where I am right now and either appreciate how far I have came or get motivated to step it up and get to where I hope to be.

THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX

There is a very major difference between Plato and Sartre's works of literature.
Though they are both dialogues, in The Republic, Plato's companion, his brother, merely agrees with what Plato has to say. He is mostly an literary symbol to bounce thoughts off of, and not very involved in the conversation. Sartre does not put himself into his dialogue, and instead creates Estelle, Inez, and Garcin to carry out the extended metaphor. Like Plato, Sartre uses dialogue completely to describe the setting and actions of the characters. Plato does so in a more intellectual way, while Sartre focuses on the personal problems of his characters.
Plato implies that the limitations of our thinking is how closed we keep our minds, and only when we are open to new ideas can we become enlightened. We can not be taught Enlightenment though, only guided towards it. The Allegory of the Cave is a metaphor for humans to break out of the chains that hold us toward "only seeing the shadows." Knowledge is like the sun, bright and confusing, but eventually our eyes will adjust and we will be able to guide others towards our new-found knowledge.
I think that what Sartre is trying to get across in his dialogue of the three strangers trapped in Hell together is that Hell is not actually other people, it is how you feel about what those other people view you. The three characters would be at piece if it wasn't for their shallow fears. Garcin was too afraid of being thought a coward; Estelle was too afraid of not having a man's love. In the Hell that Sartre creates, Hell is really only the company of other people and your own thoughts. It is not physical torture or in any way spooky or terrifying. Like Plato, I believe that Sartre is trying to get a point across that when you open your mind and not let yourself be brought down by peer pressure or anyone else, you will truly reach your highest level of self.

NO EXIT: Reading Notes

- Valet brings Garcin into a room with Second Empire style furniture, though Garcin is expecting torture devices. After he realizes he isn't being tortured he asks for a toothbrush, which Valet finds amusing but normal.
#1- Yes, my own hell would probably be an empty room as well.
#2- Hell could really be anything without a break, no matter how much you usually enjoy it in normal doses.
- Garcin learns that he can no longer sleep and that also the lights never go out, which he doesn't react well too. He is a romantic thinker and speaks a lot about his thoughts.
#3- Not being able to sleep could be enough to be hell for me, honestly. Garcin first is restless and beats the doors before finally giving up and accepting his fate.
- Inez enters and assumes that Garcin is the torturer because he looks afraid, but Garcin refuses to believe he looks afraid. Next Estelle enters and begins to talk about how horrible the couches are. Garcin admits he would rather be alone. Inez is not polite.
- The three "absentees" talk about how they died. It seems that they can see what is happening in the lives of their families, all who are attending their funerals.
-They talk of why they would be put together, of which they are not sure. They all thought they would be with old friends or relatives. It seems that Inez is attracted to Estelle.
-Estelle claims that she does not know why she was sent here and they she lived a good life.
- Garcin pretends he has no idea either, and that maybe it was because he wrote a newpaper and was a pacifist in a war time.
- Inez says that is was no mistake and that they are all murderers, which upsets the other two. She also figures out that they were places together to torture each other. Garcin suggests that they don't talk then.
- Estelle becomes distraught when she realizes she has no way to see herself, so Inez offers to be her mirror. They argue on how Estelle really wants the attention of Garcin, who acts like he wants nothing to do with her.
- They all admit their true sins. Garcin abused his wife. Inez had an affair with her cousin's wife. Estelle killed her child and cheated on her husband.
- Garcin gives into Estelle but is more focused on the people he knew on Earth talking about him, and saying that he was a coward.
- Garcin kisses Estelle while Inez watches, screaming, but wants trust from her more then physical needs and her to say that he is not a coward, though he was killed for running away.
"Hell is other people"

ALLEGORY OF THE CAVE SONNET

Plato's Allegory of the Cave

Is really an extended metaphor 

Of the way of thinking to which we are enslaved

Since outside the cave we are fearful to explore 

Only when a prisoner breaks off the chains

Can he take the first steps toward Enlightenment

He is at first met with confusion and pains

But this new world also brings delight to him 

Because he opened up his mind 

He can now see past the shadows

But the other prisoners remain blind

For they are stuck in their old values 

Only when they realize there is more to their reality

Will they become unshackled and see what the first man can see 

BRAIN WITH 14 LEGS

My group is reading Great Expectations by Charles Dickens. We don't formally have a certain number of pages that we plan to read each night, we just want to finish by the end of Thanksgiving break and in time to also complete to literary analysis on this book that we can receive for extra credit. Each member in my group has a certain task that we are to complete and post 1-3 blog posts about whenever we feel that we have enough material to make a post about. In my group I am focusing on the characters.

Plato's Allegory of the Cave

1. According to Socrates, what does the Allegory of the Cave represent?
It represents  "the journey upwards to be the ascent of the soul into the intellectual world," or the journey from false beliefs to Enlightenment.  

2. What are the key elements in the imagery used in the allegory?
The Fire, the Cave, and the Shadows.

3. What are some things the allegory suggests about the process of enlightenment or education?
That some people's minds are more open to it, but you can not fill the mind but instead point it in the right direction toward Enlightenment.

4. What do the imagery of "shackles" and the "cave" suggest about the perspective of the cave dwellers or prisoners?
They have a negative connotation; the tone of the words suggests that they are trapped and uncomfortable. This suggests that the perspective of the cave prisoners is trapped, or chained, in their old way of thinking and that they can not easily escape their reality.

5. In society today or in your own life, what sorts of things shackle the mind?
In a way the public education system does, as well as our own human insecurities. People are too afraid to stray from the track that society has taught them is "right" in fear of no longer fitting in with their peers. In my life I think it is the fear of being wrong that kind of "shackles my mind" in a way.

6. Compare the perspective of the freed prisoner with the cave prisoners?
The freed prisoner is now less comfortable in their view of the world because they are no longer sure if it is the "true" view. The cave prisoners are still in the darkness and do not have a fear of what lies outside their cave because their cave is all they know.

7. According to the allegory, lack of clarity or intellectual confusion can occur in two distinct ways or contexts. What are they?

8. According to the allegory, how do cave prisoners get free? What does this suggest about intellectual freedom?
The cave prisoners become free when they want to, which suggests that we are in control of our own education. We are only as constricted as we let ourselves believe we are.

9. The allegory presupposes that there is a distinction between appearances and reality. Do you agree? Why or why not?
I agree very much with this. You can see something to be a certain way when you are standing at a certain perspective but the way it truly is can be completely different. If you are trapped by a small level of experience, you will not be able to see things as they really are because you do not have the knowledge to analyze them, only to take them in.

10. If Socrates is incorrect in his assumption that there is a distinction between reality and appearances, what are the two alternative metaphysical assumptions?

HAMLET REMIX

SONNET REMIX

A POETIC INQUIRY

My Big Question, which I wrote over the summer, reads: "In the end, does good really triumph over evil? Obviously bad things happen every single day, but do those bad events really guide us toward an end that is ultimately just and fair? In the whole scheme of things, are horrible events, such as an innocent child dying or a wicked man getting off free from a crime he committed, really justified, or can life be ultimately unfair for some?"

Since writing that question in summer, I would have to say that the question that I would probably ask now wouldn't be 100% what I had written then, but I get the gist of what I was saying which is this: Is there really some supreme balance of good and evil, yin and yang, or is the world just unfair, and is karma not really there to punish the unfair deeds that slip by unnoticed? 

To find a sonnet that related to this question, I pretty much just went on Google and searched "Sonnets about good and evil" and then, after finding nothing, "Sonnets about fairness" which led me to a site, poemhunter.com, with a wide variety of poems relating to the battle between good and evil. I finally settled on Bring Back Fairness and Justice by Dr. John Celes, because I felt like it captured my question the best. 

I wish to cry but cannot do so now,

For things are moving in the stupid way;

My fight must go on; I’ve no other go

Till God shows me ahead a better day.

This place is ’cursed for none can settle things;

It needs a major reshuffle/ repair;

It needs persons with super-natural wings;

The remedy is making all things fair.

No place with corruption progresses much;

No place with injustice exists for long;

All hearts and minds and souls need soothing touch;

Hopelessness can’t be allowed to prolong.

When righteous men are not given right jobs,

The place will end up in unending sobs. 

Dr John Celes

This is a Shakespearean Sonnet. 

SONNET ANALYSIS #1

WE HANG TOGETHER

-Benjamin Franklin used this phrase during the signing of the Declaration of Independence
- "Strategic alliances": incomplete contact between two firms, where each partner has limited control; a type of interdependence
-  Charles Darwin described the struggle for existence as " a plant on the edge of a desert is said to struggle for life against the drought, though more properly it should be said to be dependent on the moisture. " This vaguely means that to survive, firms should be more focused on attracting "moisture" then fighting each other.
- Interdependence depends on communication and trust
- The type of individualism taught in schools, "going it alone," is not actually very helpful in the real world, where you need to know how to work with others and compromise to get the job done. American culture puts a pedestal on people that "do it all for themselves," or heroes, but in reality that type of independence isn't necessary or helpful
- A collaborator must be able to justify his investment in a strategic relationship by promoting the benefits of it or creating fear about the ramifications of it.
- People can enter a strategic relationship out of self-interest, but in the relationship must be willing to do for the other party what the other party would do for them.

The Performative Utterances of Hamlet and Beyond

 When making a performative utterance, you do not just describe the world, but instead you create new facts in the world by speaking and influencing reality. This means that there is a difference between swearing to change something, and acknowledging that something needs to be changed. In Hamlet, one of Hamlet’s biggest dilemmas is that, though he is in control of his own language and very persuasive in what he says, he is not able to take the next step and physically complete the idea that he has brought into the world through his speech. Through performative utterances, it not only Hamlet that is able to find himself and changes his reality, through altering the plot and other characters, but also myself that can create a new sense of memory, expectation, and real- world results through my speech.

One of the most severe crisis’s in the play is Hamlet’s own search to find himself and understand the social climate in which he lives, after the unfair death of his father. When his father dies and his uncle Claudius takes the crown, his former ideas that power is rewarded to the just and honorable is attacked. He must watch his father, a man who he looked up to and loved, be overthrown by his uncle Claudius, a devious man who swoops in on the throne and Hamlet’s mother only a very short time after Hamlet’s father’s tragic death. Hamlet, in a sense, has an identity crisis. He knew his role for so long, as “Hamlet the prince” and “Hamlet the scholar,” that he begins to question his new roles in an aristocracy where murderers rule. This leads him to question his new status: “Hamlet the avenging son.” To figure out his new role in life, Hamlet begins playing someone that is crazed, and under this disguise he is able to navigate his own true identity by throwing off questions by appearing unable to answer them. It in his crazed persona that he is able to trick his parents and friends by playing off his madness by implying it was brought on by love, instead of his father’s death, through letters and declarations of love to Ophelia.  

But also in Hamlet’s speech he is able to change the reality of his own situation. But sometimes this is where his intentions go awry. When he learns of how his father truly died, from his father’s ghost who is not at rest, he is unable to make a true statement that he means to avenge his father. He only actually swears that he realizes what has happened and what he has to do. This is a performative utterance in the sense that he creates an idea that he seeks revenge that the audience believes in, but he is not actually tied by his word to completely this act. The power of Hamlet’s words is his shield. While talking with the players, he makes it very obvious what he finds to be good acting, and therefore the masks he puts on himself when he wants to appear crazy. Before the play, he gives a talk to the players, saying to make sure not to overact by using a “naturalistic style” when speaking, not use “overly showy gestures,” and in general to “acquire and beget a temperance that may give [your passion] smoothness" (3.2.7-8). It is in this scene that it becomes clear Hamlet’s madness is truly an act and that the death of his father has not made him crazy and blood-thirsty, though sometimes to the audience he may appear this way, and not at all calculating and in control of his emotions like he really is.

In a way similar to Hamlet, I am affected by my own self-overhearing. Thoughts are a framework to my beliefs and how I will act, but it my speech and the statements I make that will affect my reality. Unlike Hamlet, when I make a performative utterance I can truly carry out the facts I have brought into the world by speaking because my self-overhearing comes from ideas that are already there. In a way Hamlet was double acting; he was a character playing a character while I am not. Hamlet, through self-overhearing, was also self- creating, while my utterances are self- revelation. When Hamlet goes into his soliloquy of “to be or not to be” he is self-creating a character that is questioning whether he should continue to live, while I am merely completing lines that don’t at all define how I actually feel. With performative utterances, I am able to in a way convince myself and others around me of how I may feel or even be by calling “facts” into the world and then continuing to make these statements reality.

So forth, this is the greatest difference between the performative utterances of Hamlet and myself. Hamlet is creating a person through his thoughts, which he speaks out loud, by introducing a character to the audience. I can change my reality through self- revelation, and, as a person in complete control of my actions and the way I want to be interpreted, I can carry through with these utterances, changing my memory, expectation, and real-world results. 

VOCABULARY #9

1. Aficionado: (n)  a person who likes and knows a lot about something
2. Browbeat: (t.v.)  to use threats or angry speech to make (someone) do or accept something
3. Diaphanous: (adj.) characterized by extreme delicacy of form
4. Emolument: (n)  the returns arising from office or employment usually in the form of compensation or perquisites
5. Foray: (t.v.) to ravage in search of spoils
6. Genre: (n) a category of artistic, musical, or literary composition characterized by a particular style, form, or content
7. Homily: (n) a usually short talk on a religious or moral topic
   : advice that is often not wanted
8. Immure: (t.v.)  to enclose within or as if within walls
9. Insouciant: (n) a relaxed and calm state : a feeling of not worrying about anything
10. Matrix: (n)  something within or from which something else originates, develops, or takes form/ something (such as a situation or a set of conditions) in which something else develops or forms/ something shaped like a pattern of lines and spaces
11. Obsequies: (n) a funeral or burial rite —usually used in plural
12. Panache: (n)  dash or flamboyance in style and action
13. Persona: (n)  the way you behave, talk, etc., with other people that causes them to see you as a particular kind of person : the image or personality that a person presents to other people
14. Philippic: (n) a discourse or declamation full of bitter condemnation; tirade 
15. Prurient: (adj) marked by or arousing an immoderate or unwholesome interest or desire; especially :  marked by, arousing, or appealing to sexual desire
16. Sacrosanct: (adj)  too important and respected to be changed, criticized, etc.
17. Systemic: (adj) of or relating to an entire system
18. Tendentious: (adj)  strongly favoring a particular point of view in a way that may cause argument : expressing a strong opinion
19. Vicissitude: (n)  the quality or state of being changeable/ a favorable or unfavorable event or situation that occurs by chance :  a fluctuation of state or condition
20. Commensurate: (adj)  equal or similar to something in size, amount, or degree

Sentences: 

1. An aficionado of Shakespeare's work in my English class was the go-to guy for interpretation. 
2. Being the oldest in my family, I'm used to browbeating my younger siblings to get what I want, though I am not proud of it. 
3. Since our star player is recovering from a twisted ankle, we really only have a diaphanous hope of making it to the next round in CIF. 
4. The usual emolument for the volunteer fund-raiser leader is paid in gratitude. 
5. Before burning down the defeated village, the soldiers forayed what they could find. 
6. Even though the book was outside her typical genre, she fully enjoyed it, appreciating the differences between what she was used to. 
7. After finishing the Gospel reading, the priest gave a quick homily to the meaning behind the words of the text, focusing on love and forgiveness. 
8. Immured by her fear of failure, the young girl found it heard to go outside her comfort zone, especially in school. 
9. Knowing that she had prepared the best she could, she walked into the class of her exam with complete insouciance to the fact that it counted as 50% of her grade.
10. The lines and wires crossed each other, forming an intricate matrix. 
11. Friends and family of the victim came to mourn at the obsequies. 
12. Performing the part with  great panache, she "wowed" her friends and family that came to see her perform. 
13. I always felt like she kept a very mysterious persona; you never were quite sure what she was going to do next and why. 
14. I never could quite look at him the same after he launches into a horrible philippic after a student was caught on their phone during his class. 
15. His prurient interest in her personal life mostly kept her from sharing too much information with him. 
16. The tradition is so sacrosanct in my family I can't even imagine someone suggesting to ever try it a new way. 
17. After the sever crashed, the company had to make some systemic changed to avoid leaving all their employees without a network again. 
18. He had a very tendentious outlook towards how the government should be ran, so I tried to mostly avoid the topic with him before big elections. 
19. The vicissitudes of living in a big city were not so much that she felt the desire to move. 
20. Most of all, she hoped to find a job commensurate with her abilities and knowledge of her field, which she had developed over the years. 

TOOLS THAT CHANGE THE WAY WE THINK

From Dr. Preston's blog: 

tools that change the way we think

"Back in 2004, I asked [Google founders] Page and Brin what they saw as the future of Google search. 'It will be included in people's brains,' said Page. 'When you think about something and don't really know much about it, you will automatically get information.'

'That's true,' said Brin. 'Ultimately I view Google as a way to augment your brain with the knowledge of the world. Right now you go into your computer and type a phrase, but you can imagine that it could be easier in the future, that you can have just devices you talk into, or you can have computers that pay attention to what's going on around them and suggest useful information.'

'Somebody introduces themselves to you, and your watch goes to your web page,' said Page. 'Or if you met this person two years ago, this is what they said to you... Eventually you'll have the implant, where if you think about a fact, it will just tell you the answer."

-From In the Plex by Steven Levy (p.67)

I would definitely say that the use of technology today has changed the way I think in many different aspects, and that if I only had the resources that my parents had I would probably think a whole different way. First off I would say that it has possibly shortened my attention span. When I am doing homework, and especially when I don't quite understand the problems I am working on, I find myself checking social media sites like Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, etc. Even when I am with my family or friends I have the desire to check these sites. But it hasn't only affected me negatively; because of the internet I have learned things and had experiences I wouldn't have even dreamed of. This whole class, well most of it, wouldn't be possible without the Internet, and I wouldn't be able to access nearly as much information in the click of a button. Depending on how you use the Internet, it can open you up to a way of thinking that you wouldn't know of outside of your town and community, or it can almost brainwash you to continue to think the same way as everyone else. Like most tools, media and the Internet will only be as helpful to you as you allow it to be.

THE PERFORMATIVE UTTERANCE IN HAMLET

- Hamlet could be described less about a man who could not make up his mind, and more about a man who couldn't carry through this the ideas in his mind.
-There are three main forces of language:
the locutionary force, theability of language to deliver a message, the force of mutual intelligibility; the illocutionary force, what is done in being said, such as denying a request, giving an order, etc.; the perlocutionary force, what is achieved by being said, the consequences of one's utterance, such as an order being followed (or refused)
-Performative utterances create new facts in the world in speaking. ( They influence more then just describing)
- "Self-overhearing": Gaining knowledge of yourself by overhearing what you say. Can be act of self-revelation or self- creation (There is already something there vs. not)
- Hamlet does not, so it seems, or realize that his words can affect the world.
- In once scene Hamlet and Macrellus & Horatio make an oath.
" Once someone has made an utterance of the type "I swear," the illocutionary force of an oathhaving been made exists in the world. What the person is tasked to do concerns the perlocutionary force."
" If the person who has sworn to do something does that something, that is a perlocutionary effect of his utterance; the illocutionary force of having sworn has compelled himto that action." 
In this scene though Hamlet only swears to remember how his father's unfair death came, and the others only make a promise of secrecy.
- The emotional utterances in Hamlet that prove to be not real oaths are a real problem in the play, especially if the audience tends to believe their authenticity
- You can gather from Hamlet's instructions towards the players about over-acting what he finds realistic as shows as emotion. (Not crazy hand gestures of awkward movement, need to speak in a naturalistic style). Those are what Hamlet is trying to avoid when he is feigning madness. He does not want to overact but not underact.
- Polonius falls for Hamlet's act because he thinks he is too wise to be fooled, and is therefore easily fooled. He also wants to come up with some kind of legit explanation for the way Hamlet is acting, and when he is approached with the idea that is is craziness due to love, he grabs on to it and accepts it as true.
- Hamlet in a way uses his feigned madness to learn more about himself and the society that he has grown up in that was shattered by his father's murder. He even thinks of going to the final level of form, suicide.

-Can't actual "condemn" anyone in a play because it is only a play, making all utterances performative.
- Hamlet is moved by words, like Player 1's
- Difficult because there is double acting going on
- Hamlet is caught in trying to understand his and everyone's role in life by "playing" a role instead of being it
- Hamlet's favorite role was "avenging son" but in the end he finds that the death of an avenging son is not any more noble than the death of the beggar, and that violence does not make the life worth living

THOUGHTS ON HAMLET (IN PROGRESS)

I would definitely be confident in saying that since the ghost appeared at midnight, a lot has changed not only in the plot, but in the characters, with a special emphasis on Hamlet, Claudius, and Polonius. When the ghost first arrives, we do not know who he is, why he is unrest, and how he died. Learning these three important factors is pretty much the difference between a play with a plot and main problem and something that would barely resemble a literature piece. Also, we are introduced to Hamlet, who is definitely the character that changes the most through the 3 Acts I have read. He starts off already hesitant and unhappy, but is slowly approaching an even crazier and violent level then he seemed possible of in Act I.
Before I read this play I was kind of under the impression that Hamlet, the hero, was going to stay cool, calm, and collected while he brilliantly avenged his father's death, but that does not seem to be the way that the play is headed. Hamlet acts mad most of the time, though there are clues that it is all an act, and though he found out about his father's murderer in Act I, he has yet to actually make any sort of progress, except for killing his uncle's adviser, Polonius. And though Polonius has been pretty annoying so far, and gives lots of long-winded speeches about pretty much nothing, his death did not bring Hamlet any closer to revenge and justice.
Hopefully Hamlet will be able to get his act back together and finish off Claudius in the right way. Though because I know the ending this is not very likely...

WHAT I THINK ABOUT WHEN I THINK ABOUT ACT III

Act III has definitely been the most exciting Act so far, but there is a lot that I'm unsure about. The most memorable scene is when Claudius runs out of the theater during the play where a nephew kills his uncle, the queen, and takes his place, also marrying his wife. This scene leaves a lot of questions though, mostly because of the run-through of the play before the actual play where the same plot is performed, and when Claudius doesn't react, but when it becomes evident the NEPHEW is the killer, he runs away. Also, Hamlet and his mother don't seem too concerned that Hamlet accidentally kills Polonius which makes me wonder if I misunderstood or if he wasn't really too important to him.

LITERATURE ANALYSIS #3

1) The book I chose to read was The Color Purple by Alice Walker. This novel is about a black woman, named Celie, and the difficult path that life takes her down, including a separation from her sister that spans a number of years. The opening scene is quite graphic. The man Celie knows as her father sexually abuses her one day, and many other days following, leading to the birth of two children which Celie's father takes away from her. Her sister, Nettie, is beautiful, smart, and kind and sought after by a man that Celie only refers to as Mr.________ , though his real name is Albert. Celie's father will not let Albert marry Nettie though, and instead gives him Celie. This starts the beginning of a long and unhappy period of Celie's life while she must look over Albert's children, who don't like her, and deal with losing Nettie, who has ran away. It becomes evident that Albert is in love with a woman named Shug Avery, a singer who travels town to town. When Shug is in town, Albert is gone for days and returns crying.
Albert's eldest son, Harpo, falls in love with a strong-willed girl named Sofia, and because Sofia's dad won't let Harpo marry her, he gets her pregnant so that they have to be together.
Shug becomes sick, and has to stay at Albert's house because no one else will take her in. Celie is fascinated with Shug and her beauty and fancy clothing, and though Shug is cruel to her Celie nurses her back to health.
Sofia and Harpo butt heads on every issue and eventually Sofia moves in with her sisters, taking the three kids with her. This changes Harpo, and he and a buddy build a jukejoint out of what used to be their house, where they have alcohol and play tunes. They don't get much business until Shug starts to make appearances.
Sofia returns with a man and gets in a fight with Harpo's new lady, Squeak. Still mad, she drives into town and gets in a fist fight with the mayor, landing her in jail. Her spirit is almost broken, but her family is able to get her a better job being a nanny for the mayor's family, though she detests them all.
Shug returns at Christmas with a car for Albert and a husband, shocking Celie, who has formed a tight friendship with her. Celie and Shug's friendship grows more intimate as time passes.
Celie and Shug find that Nettie has been sending Celie letters for years, but Albert has his them all. Knowing this, Celie develops a strong hatred for him. In the letters Nettie talks of how she joined with a black preacher and his family and is now a missionary in Africa.Nettie and Samuel, the preacher, piece together that the preacher's children, who were adopted, are Celie's own children. And also that the man Celie and Nettie thought was their father is actually their step-father. Celie is devestated and torn up, as well as Nettie when the preacher's wife, Corrine, dies after realizing that her children aren't Nettie's, which she believed.
Celie and Shug have many talks about God, who they say isn't really a man but a general idea and is actually made up of everything. Shug announces that she is moving to Memphis, and taking Celie and Squeak with her. Harpo and Albert are shocked, but eventually agree. In Memphis Celie starts a pant-making business and Squeak furthers her music career, with much attention from Grady. When Celie's step-father dies she inherits the house, and moves there for the summer to fix it up. Squeak and Grady move to Panama and start a marijuana plantation, and Shug develops a relationship with the 19-year-old flute player in her band, which breaks Celie's heart. Celie falls into a depression, which is furthered by a notice that the ship Nettie was on returning form Africa was sank. Time has changed Albert though and Celie and him develop a friendship based on the respect that they both love Shug. In the last scene, Nettie, along with Samuel and Celie's two children, arrive home and the sisters embrace.
I think what this novel is trying to say is that woman are independent and don't need a man to feel loved and accomplished, and can find love and success in other ways. Celie finds love in her sister and Shug, and accomplishment in owning her own home and running her own business, all after leaving her abusive husband.
2) The purpose of the novel goes along with the theme, that women are meant to be independent and the importance of female relationships. Celie finds true happiness in love, business, and pleasure after leaving her abusive husband, who uses her as a toy, punchbag, and maid. No woman in this novel is fulfilled when she gets the approval of a man, instead they reach happiness from the love and support of their female companions, who understand them and love them in ways that men can not.
3) The tone of this novel is honest and open. Since it is written in a journal-entry format, it straight-forwardly contains Celie's inner thoughts and fears about God, sexuality, and her history of abuse. "He [Pa] never had a kine word to say to me. Just say You gonna do what your mammy wouldn’t. First he put his thing up gainst my hip and sort of wiggle it around. Then he grab hold my titties. Then he push his thing inside my pussy. When that hurt, I cry. He start to choke me, saying You better shut up and git used to it. (1.4)" 
"Here’s the thing, say Shug. The thing I believe. God is inside you and inside everybody else. You come into the world with God. But only them that search for it inside find it. And sometimes it just manifest itself even if you not looking, or don’t know what you looking for. Trouble do it for most folks, I think. Sorrow, lord. Feeling like shit."
"He love looking at Shug. I love looking at Shug.
But Shug don’t love looking at but one of us. Him.But that the way it spose to be. I know that. But if that so, why my heart hurt me so"

4) 

#1- Setting: This novel takes place in the early 1900's in the deep south, which affected the tone because African Americans were prejudiced against in this place and time. 

" You say Us where most folk say WE, she say, and peoples think you dumb. Colored peoples think you a hick and white folks be amuse." (215)

#2- First person journal-entry narrative: This type of narrative makes the novel very personal and relatable, and makes a point that women that face abuse are individuals too. 

"Dear Nettie, 

....

Amen, Your sister, Celie" (216) 

#3- Syntax: Syntax pulls the reader into the mind of Celie and creates an idea of the style of talking and beliefs of her time.

" Woman work, he say.

What? she say.

Woman work. I'm a man." (21)

#4- Symbolism: The color purple stands for the beauty in the world that Celie does not at first see until she is true to herself. At first, she feels she is not worthy of wearing it "I think what color Shug Avery would wear... Somethin purple, maybe a little red in it. But us look an look and no purple."(21) but at the end her whole room is covered in purple. 

#5- Foils: Shug and Sofia are different in many ways, and their differences is what makes the traits of the other stand out even more. 

#6- Allusion: Celie and Shug talk about the Bible and how people interpret it different.

"Nettie say somewhere in the bible it say Jesus' hair was like lamb's wool, I say." (194)

#7- Parallelism: The novel uses parallelism to make a statement, in this case about the ways Shug affects Albert.

"He tired. He sad. He weak. He cry. Then he sleep the rest of the day and all night." (26)

#8- Stream of consciousness: This used to describe how Celie feels after she learns the real truth about her family.

"But I feels daze.

My daddy lynch. My mama crazy. All my little half-brothers and sisters no kin to me. My children not my sister and brother. Pa not pa.

You must be sleep." (177)

#9- Characterization: The way Celie describes her family and friends paints an interesting picture of her surroundings.

"He real fat and tall, look like a big yellow bear. Mr. _________ small like his daddy, his brother stand way taller." (56)

#10- Metaphor: In this passage Nettie uses metaphors to explain to Celie truly how hot it is in Afirca, though Celie has never experienced anything like that before.

"Its hot, here, Celie, she write. Hotter than July. Hotter than July and August. Hot like cooking dinner on a big stove in a little kitchen in August and July. Hot." (148)

CHARACTERIZATION: 

1) Direct characterization is used to describe Nettie and Sofia. Nettie is described as loved, smart, pretty, and sought after to contrast with the image of Celie. Sofia is described as strong-willed to explain her openness to getting pregnant to defy her father and marry Harpo.

Indirect characterization is used towards Shug Avery because her character changes over the course of the book. At first she is bitter, but in the end loving and friendly. Albert is also described indirectly through his actions. The author uses both approaches to build up a changing character and introducing a character that keeps there ideals the same the whole novel. Nettie changes because of Africa, but still stays smart, pretty, and loved, just as Sofia stays strong-willed in all she goes through. Shug and Albert seem more real to me because in the years the book spans their whole attitude changes.

2) Yes, the syntax and diction changes with characters. When Celie is narrating, the writing has many spelling mistakes and grammatical errors, signs of personal touch. When Africa is narrated through Nettie's letters, you get a sense of her high education level because it is the story that natters there less than how it is written.

3) The protagonist is static and round. At first Celie is weak willed and afraid to stand up for herself because bowing down to the men in her life is all she knows. As she learns to accept love and kindness, her whole being changes and she grows more confident and positive, as well as wiser.

4) After reading the book I felt like I had met a person, obviously due to the personal style of the writing. I felt like I was the receiver of the pages of Celie's diary and I grew to understand and appreciate her. 

DEAR OPHELIA

Seems like you have quite a conundrum. In this situation, it seems like it would be the best idea to listen to your father and brother. They truly only want what is best for you and don't want you to make a precipitous decision about your prince that might end up hurting you in any way. I'm sure that your lover isn't a churlish  or gauche man when it comes to knowing how to treat you right. He just might not be in the right position to do so while still filling his prince-ly obligations. Your brother and father simply don't want you to become rancorous toward your former lover when it becomes evident he can not give you the right amount of attention you deserve. While settle for a ephemeral relationship with him when you can find a lasting one with a different guy? I think it's time to start seeing him as an anachronism and do what you can to start moving on before a saboteur set on saving his future steps in. Best of luck to you!   

LITERARY FICTION AND EMPATHY

I think that what they found through these experiments makes perfect sense. At first, I wasn't too sure because I feel like popular fiction puts you in other people's shoes as well, but after the professor that teaches a master's program in writing fiction added in how he feels ("Maybe popular fiction is a way of dealing more with one’s own self, maybe, with one’s own wants, desires, needs."), I definitely understood their results more. Just like one professor says, literary fiction is great in laying out several different character stories but leaves it up to the reader to decide exactly how to interpret the different stories. In Hamlet, soliloquies, or when a character in a play "thinks out loud" directly to the audience, are used often to help the audience connect with the character and understand more his or her's way of thinking. I know that personally when I am reading a story, I tend not to sympathize with the character whose motives I do not truly understand. It is the character who shares more of their deeper thoughts that I "root" for a little bit, even if on the outside they might not be the obvious favorite. By reading more of character's innermost thoughts, it gives me a feel of how others might also think, which might just be increasing my empathy and understanding of others, just as the experiment shows. 

VOCAB # 7

Shenanigans (n): a devious trick used especially for an underhand purpose
Ricochet (v): To deflect or move in this way
Schism (n): a division among the members of a group that occurs because they disagree on something
Eschew (v): To abstain or keep away from
Plethora (n): An abundance
Ebullient (adj): Overflown with fervor or enthusiasm
Garrulous (adj): Excessively talkative
Harangue (n): a forcefull of angry speech
Interdependence (n): mutually reliant on each other
Capricious (adj):  not logical or reasonable : based on an idea, desire, etc., that is not possible to predic
Loquacious (adj): talking much or freely
Ephemeral (adj): lasting a very short time
Inchoate (adj): not fully completed or developed
Juxtapose (v): to place (different things) together in order to create an interesting effect or to show how they are the same or different
Perspicacious (adj): having keen mental perception
Codswallop (n): nonsense
Mungo (n): cloth made from recycled material
Sesquipedalian (adj): having many syllables or use of long words
Wonky (adj): unreliable; unsteady
Diphthong (n): A complete speech sound that begins with one vowel and changes to another

The group finally landed in Italy. On the way off the plane Eeeeeee Eeeeeeeeeee dropped his phone and it ricocheted off of the wall. A shenanigan snatched it up tried to eschew it away from Eeeeeee. Fortunately, the other two body guards, Torque Lewith and Dan Smith, created a schism and their interdependence helped them get the phone back. After that mix-up, the group went back to focusing on the game. They need to put their capricious minds together and through the plethora of information in their heads to find their next clue. All of the sudden Eeeeeee Eeeee becomes ebullient. He began talking in a garrulous manner with an excessive amount of dipthongs. The groups excitement was ephemeral and they quickly knew that his idea was completely codswallop and he was wonky. Tension began to rise when Annette had a harangue with Eeeeee Eeeeee and told him to shut up. Torque was able to calm everyone down and with his perspicacious mind he was able to infer that the makers of the race was not going to juxtapose each clue. Although he had an inchoate thought, the rest of the group knew he was on to something. Torque then pulled out a mungo from his bag and started writing down the clues they had so the group could find their next destination.

GREEN EGGS AND HAMLET

a) Honestly, I don't know very much about Hamlet. I know that his story was written by Shakespeare (duh) and I'm pretty certain that the plot to The Lion King was based off of his story, the play by William Shakespeare.

b) I also don't know very much about Shakespeare. I know that he was a very, very famous play writer back before there was many play writers. I also know that a lot of our English today is based off of his plays and other literature, which is made up of words that i think are mostly of his own creation. A lot of sayings and such came from his pieces of literature.

c) I think that most students don't like hearing that they are to read something by Shakespeare mostly because his style of writing is so hard to follow. Though you can kinda understand what is happening, its really hard to understand what exactly it is that they are saying, which is usually the stuff that you are tested on more.

d) To make studying for this play more interesting I think that we could definitely watch some sort of video before to get a feel for the tone of the scene before reading it. Also, it would help to go over the scenes in class for more understanding.

LITERARY ANALYSIS #2

1) The book I chose to read was The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. This story starts out with the introduction of Hazel Grace, a 17 year old who is living with terminal cancer who is forced by her mother to attend weekly support groups at a church called The Sacred Heart of Jesus. It is at one of these support groups that Hazel meets Augustus Waters, a charming boy her age who is living with osteosarcoma, though the odds look good. It is the very night they meet that Hazel Grace and Augustus hang out for the first time and also that night that Augustus passes on to Hazel his favorite book, The Price of Dawn, and Hazel passes on to him her favorite book, An Imperial Affliction.
Through AIA Augustus and Hazel seem to bond, mostly due to the fact that it is a "cancer book," though not the cheesy type that they are so against. Eventually Augustus reaches out and contacts the author, Peter Van Houten, to ask about the ending to the story, which ends mid-sentence. He first reaches Van Houten's assistant, then Van Houten himself who, though he lives in Amsterdam, says he would be happy to meet Augustus and Hazel after hearing their story. Hazel is beyond belief, but because her family doesn't have much money to spare she knows she will probably not make it to meet him. Augustus though has a "wish" left, and chooses to spend it on flying with Hazel to Amsterdam to meet Van Houten. At first her parents are unsure, but eventually it seems that Hazel's health may permit it.
With Hazel's mom as a guide, Hazel and Augustus are able to travel to Amsterdam and have plans to meet with Van Houten their second day there. They arrive in the morning and that night are treated to a fancy dinner on the river, courtesy of  Van Houten. Augustus and Hazel bask in the beauty of the city, and talk of the possible endings to AIA that Van Houten could have written in his head. The dinner goes perfectly, but when they go to meet Van Houten the next morning they find that his assistant was the one that orchestrated everything, and that Van Houten himself did not even know that they were coming. It turns out that Van Houten is a nasty, fat drunk, and he is unforgivably rude to Augustus and Hazel, telling them that their existance has no meaning and that they are the "side effect of an evolutionary process" and that their whole life is meant to revolve around pity from others. Though Hazel takes this calmly, Van Houten's assistant quits on the spot, crying. As they walk away, Hazel apologizes for "wasting" Augustus' wish, though he tells her it was not a waste at all. The assistant runs after the two, and offers to pay to take them to Anne Frank's house. Hazel manages to make it through the house, though the steep stairs are very hard on her lungs. After, Augustus and her sneak away to his hotel room.
The next day, their last day in Amsterdam, Augustus admits to Hazel that his sickness has spread to the rest of his body, and that he does not have much time to live. The next weeks are a series of good days and bad days, though mostly bad, as Augustus' body begins to fail him more and more. Augustus dies. Hazel meets a surprise at his funeral when Van Houten appears, but she tells him off and he watches as she drives away. Hazel runs into him again days later and it becomes apparent that AIA was written after his daughter, who died of leukemia at the age of 9. Van Houten had tried to write her a future in this story, and her death was what had left him so bitter. The novel ends with a letter Augustus wrote to Van Houten after their trip to Amsterdam.
I think this narrative is a perfect example of John Green's works of literature. There is usually not a typical "happy" ending, but instead the type of ending you would actually find in life. In the end of each novel, his characters eventually come to peace with what has happened to them, just as in real life you must come to peace with your failures and losses. I think his purpose in writing is to show a relate-able and somewhat accurate take on the struggles of young adults in today's time.

2) I feel like the theme of this novel was that no life is lived in vain. Augustus was afraid of dying a death that was not for some bigger, noble purpose but in the end he simple died of cancer. But he didn't die without leaving marks on those around him,and not just scars. Meanwhile, Hazel lived her life trying to make the smallest mark she possible could, because she knew her life would be short and she didn't want to hurt too many people when she eventually passed away.

3) John Green's tone, through the voice of Hazel Grace, is very frank and straight-forward. Hazel, a girl who has spent most of her teenage life living with the knowledge that she won't live much longer, has a very realistic look towards cancer, dying, and life. She accepts her fate with open arms, and sees the fates of those around her with the same realistic, to the point of cynical, view. For instance: "But, in fact, depression is not a side affect of cancer. Depression is a side effect of dying. (Cancer is also a side effect of dying. Almost everything is, really.)" Also, "'There will come a time,' I said, ' when all of us are dead. All of us. There will come a time when there are no human beings remaining to remember that anyone ever existed or that our species ever did anything.'" The last quote comes from Peter Van Houten, another harshly frank character in the novel. "'You are a side effect,' Van Houten continued, 'of an evolutionary process that cares little for individual lives. You are a failed experiment in mutation.'"

4) Literary Elements/Techniques:
#1- Plot Twist: One thing that took me by surprise in this book was when Augustus announced that he wasn't as healthy as he lead on that he was. On page 213 he starts "Just before you went into the ICU, I started to feel this ache in my hip.." and ends with how his condition has returned, and worse.
#2- Red Herring: When Hazel wake up at "four in the morning with an apocalyptic pain fingering out from the unreachable center of her head," (Page 104), you get the sense that Hazel is the one that who is getting sicker, when in fact during that same time Augustus learns he only has a short time to live due to his disease.
#3- Imagery: Hazel describes scenes in great detail, like her room in Amsterdam, page 157. "Our room was small; a double bed pressed against a wall with my BiPAP machine, an oxygen concentrator, and a dozen refillable oxygen tanks at the foot of the bed."
#4- Plot Device: Peter Van Houten's main purpose in the story is to bring Augustus and Hazel together, which he does so by giving them a reason to travel to Amsterdam, and then bringing them closer after he disses them. "After a minute, Augustus said, 'Your book is sort of the thing that brought us together.'"
#5- Flashback: A flashback is used mostly to define how Hazel found out that she had cancer. "I finally ended up in the ICU with pneumonia, and my mom knelt by the side of my bed and said, 'Are you ready, sweetie?' and I told her I was ready, and my dad just kept telling me he loved me in this voice..." (Page 24)
#6- Irony- One of the people Hazel doesn't understand the most is the Support Group's leader, Patrick, but in the end she learns that her mom is taking classes to pretty much do his same job. "'But if I get myMSW, I can counsel families in crisis or lead groups dealing with illness in their families or-'" (Page 297)
#7- Symbolism: For Hazel, her old swing set stands for the childhood of possibilities she had that only lead to her diagnosis of a short life. "The swing set was just sitting there, abandoned, the two little swings hanging still and sad from a grayed plank of wood..." (Page 122)
#8- Metonymy: Augustus and Hazel use "Okay" as their promise of forever. "'Okay,' he said after forever. 'Maybe okay will be our always.'"
#9- Personification: Green again uses the swing set as an object that is personified. "'I see your point,' he said as he put an arm around my shoulder. 'That is one sad goddamned swing set.'"
#10- Soliloquy:

“Hazel Grace, like so many children before you—and I say this with great affection—you spent your Wish hastily, with little care for the consequences.
The Grim Reaper was staring you in the face and the fear of dying with your Wish still in your proverbial pocket, ungranted, led you to rush toward the first
Wish you could think of, and you, like so many others, chose the cold and artificial pleasures of the theme park.”
“I actually had a great time on that trip. I met Goofy and Minn—”
“I am in the midst of a soliloquy! I wrote this out and memorized it and if you interrupt me I will completely screw it up,” Augustus interrupted. “Please
to be eating your sandwich and listening.” (The sandwich was inedibly dry, but I smiled and took a bite anyway.) “Okay, where was I?”
“The artificial pleasures.”
He returned the cigarette to its pack. “Right, the cold and artificial pleasures of the theme park. But let me submit that the real heroes of the Wish
Factory are the young men and women who wait like Vladimir and Estragon wait for Godot and good Christian girls wait for marriage. These young
heroes wait stoically and without complaint for their one true Wish to come along. Sure, it may never come along, but at least they can rest easily in the
grave knowing that they’ve done their little part to preserve the integrity of the Wish as an idea.
“But then again, maybe it will come along: Maybe you’ll realize that your one true Wish is to visit the brilliant Peter Van Houten in his Amsterdamian
exile, and you will be glad indeed to have saved your Wish.”

CHARACTERIZATION:
1) Green directly characterizes Augustus as attractive and confident and Augustus describes Hazel as sure of herself and realistic. I would not know Augustus's looks if not for this, but I already had a sense of Hazel's attitude through her narrative. You learn about Isaac through his actions after his girlfriend dumping him and Augustus dying.
2) Yes, through Hazels's own personal narratives their is a very personal aspect to the syntax and diction, but when she is merely describing things or relating the actions of another character, there is a less personal sense to what she is saying.
3) Hazel, the protagonist, is both a dynamic and round character. Though she keeps a lot of her views somewhat the same, she learns more about love and what it means to make a difference and leave a legacy She also finally has to finally face the death of someone she truly loves, even though she is very acquainted with the idea of death.
4) I came away from the book feeling like I had met a person because of the style of writing John Green has. Its almost like Hazel was writing down her thoughts as she experienced them, and it made me feel really close to her because of it, as well as her realistic portrayal of life.

THE COMPARISON'S TALE

The tale that I really saw a lot of similarities in when the Serena's group shared the story was the Miller's Tale. Just like the tale my group read, the Skipper's Tale, there was a lot of adultery going on between a wife and someone that claimed to be a "friend" to her husband. In both stories the "other man" was someone who was described as friendly and likable, but proved not to be a trustworthy individual. I think that both of these tales alluded to the idea that you can not trust even the people you think you know the best, your wife and your best friend, and that marriage isn't as sacred and holy as most people make it out to be. The thing that was the most different is that the Miller's Tale had what seemed like a humorous tone to it, with the adulterer getting branded on his butt, while the Skipper's Tale seemed less like a joke.

TALE OF A CANTERBURY TALE

My group and I decided to read the Skipper's Tale. I'm not 100% sure if I understand all that I read, but what I have gathered it this: The skipper tells a story about a merchant with a very pleasant wife who tends to spend too much money on his friends and for pleasure. One of his very best friends, the monk Don John, visits the merchant's house very frequently but is always met with joy. The merchant and Don John are so close actually that they say that they are kin, though they are actually not. One night, the merchant is forced to stay locked in his room until nine while he calculates his earnings and spendings for the year. That same day the wife and Don John meet in the garden, and the wife reveals to Don John that she is very unhappy in bed with her husband, as well as in a couple other areas. Don John admits that he has always had a special love for the wife and claims that he wants her to be happy. The wife says that to be happy she needs 100 frances by the next day (I'm not sure that for though) and she asks Don John if he could supply her with that. He says that he can, and the wife says pretty much that she will do anything he wants now. He grabs her by the flanks (???) and they embrace, then say their good-byes. Meanwhile, the merchant comes to the conclusion that he is in debt. That night Don John asks to borrow 100 frances from the merchant, who happily agrees, and Don John says that he must keep it between them. The merchant leaves the next day to ask various frieds for money to pay for his debt, and the wife and Don John meet up so that the wife can receive the money and "lead a merry night in mirth" together before Don John is on his way home. The merchant stops by his house the next day and asks for the 100 frances back, and Don John says that he already returned them to the merchant's wife. The merchant returns home and his wife greets him happily now that he is not in debt anymore. The merchant tells her that she should have told him that Don John already paid him back, because he accidentally upset him earlier when asking for the money back that was already paid. The wife apologizes and says she will pay the merchant back in acts in bed. Amen. 

I would say that the main character of the tale would be the merchant. Through indirect characterization you can gather that (1) he is a family man, due to the way he is very pleased that his good friend the monk considers him kin. (2) You can gather that the merchant is not a selfish man because he throws extravagant parties for his friends and loans money to those in need without a second thought. (3) You can gather that the merchant is a lover of good times, and not completely obsessed with work unless it calls his total attention, because he makes sure to invite the monk to dinner before he goes on a business trip. (4) It is obvious that the merchant is a hard worker who prefers to work in private because he spends a lot of the morning figuring his finances alone in his room. (5) Lastly, you get the impression that the merchant is also overly-trusting, by the way he does not realize that the man he feeds and gives money too is secretly having an affair with his wife.

I think that Chaucer is satirizing the holiness of marriage and how husbands and wives are supposed to stay true, and the idea that you never truly know who the people you call your friends are. The merchant in a way represents the side that most people try to show the world; honest, hard-working, and loyal. It is ironic that it is the monk, who holds a holy position, instead of the merchant, who is known to rip people off and give them bad deals, that is the adulterer. It also is meant to show how two-faced anyone can be. The monk calls the merchant his "kin" but is very quick to deny him when the wife says that she can't tell him something because he is kin to her husband. Also, the wife complains to the monk about her lack of pleasure in bed with her husband, but the first chance she gets she tries to seduce her husband, even though she has seduced his friend the previous day.

CHARACTER STUDY (III)

Annette, Bailey, Hannah, Taylor, and I all met separately at the airport, knowing that all our luggage wouldn't have easily fit into one car. We met up and started toward the boarding gate, after of course checking our bags in and going through the security check. I was nervous yet completely prepared; I knew that I had everything I needed, and probably more, for the adventure we were about to go on. One worry that crossed my mind was how the guys that we were to meet before boarding the plane would be. We had planned out the trip mostly over the phone, and I wasn't sure yet how these three intimidating athletes would act yet. As we started walking towards the terminal, I immediately saw who we would be traveling with for the next month. Dan Smith was muscular and tall, and had a quiet, solemn face. EEE EEEE was talking the whole time as we approached, and had a weirdly distinct high-pitched voice that didn't match his hulking body. Lewith was short and thick and continued to stare out the large windows at the runway, with a concerned look on his face. As we walked up they greeted us warmly, and my hope towards how this trip was going to go improved with every word.

CHARACTER STUDY (II)

As I made my way downstairs, I thought about everyone that would be joining me on my journey. First of all there was my four close friends who I had survived through high school with. We had wanted to kick off the start of the new chapter of our lives with a bang, and so decided to all take a trip together. But our group of five girls, including Hannah Savaso, Annette Sousa, Taylor Duguran,  Bailey Wineman, and myself, worried our parents. So they decided they would rather have us travel with some friends, though the term 'bodyguards' might define them better. I didn't know much about the three football players that were too accompany us on our trip, except that they were named EEE EEEE, Dan Smith, and Lewith.

CHARACTER STUDY (I)

I sat quietly on my bed as I gazed around at my room, the same one I had claimed as mine for 6 long years. Once full of all my personal belongings, everything from books to clothing, my room was again as it started; completely empty. Everything that had once filled this room was packed in my car, waiting for me in the drive way, or else passed on to my sisters or Goodwill. Thinking about this brought all-too-familiar pains to my stomach; an interesting mix of nervous butterflies and nausea. Though I was excited about the idea of moving out, something I had thought about since the first weeks of my Senior year, I was also terrified. So much could go wrong. But so much could go right. That's why I had picked a destination so far from what I was used to, right? I desired a true fresh start, with new people in a new location, where I would hopefully be lucky enough to encounter all sorts of new ideas and ways of thinking that I definitely wouldn't have been exposed to in Santa Maria. As I grabbed the last few items in my room, headphones, a phone charger, my favorite book, and my old favorite teddy bear, I started downstairs to exchange see you soon's and i love you's with my family and friends waiting downstairs for my departure.